Left: everyone's worst nightmare
Only 1 more day to CT now... sian lah. stress lah... especially that stupid chinese and msp... My chinese must get 80 for CT (including that 公函／私函 test) to get 4.0 (because of a screwed up semester 1, and a so-so ca)... die lah, how to get? Especially when there are so many 词／详读课文／成语／惯用语／谚语 to learn, and i almost never read chinese books (now starting to regret chucking all the 小读者songlaoshi gives out and the 我报my mum gives me one side without reading at all)... I hope they moderate up 10marks. And then i want academy for science (most likely chem) and geog so must do very well for both... Then english... walau, i dunno my CA how lah, cos of a so-so drama challenge (the class assessment portion). The maths even more sian, always lose marks cos careless - i noe the content but everytime calculate salah or forget this forget that, then all the questions related one and no follow through marks so part (a) wrong only lah then u gg. I want to do the daniel chew 6-prizes leh... WALAU NO MORE TIME TO MUG (but i suppose everyone also lah, or worse, i noe some pple can't be bothered)
Actually my emotions to ct quite conflicting lah... want more time to study (only had 1 week after all the assignments and projects were cleared) so want it to be later, but at the same time want to get it done with quickly, a little bit tired of school and mugging liao.
There's also the question of why I place such expectations on myself. But honestly, I have no answer to that, other for the fact that I'm a perfectionist (desire for and happiness deriving from personal achievement and challenge + desire to be "proded" and gain respect/attention/etc this way). Might have inherited it, or developed it somehow (haha nature vs nurture debate), or both. But whatever the case, my brain seems to be wired this way, and I can't get away with myself for slacking/slipshod work/underachievement, hence the stress. Got good and got bad lah, but i choose to live this way and am happy like this.
Well, I guess i'll just trust in the lord to carry me through lah. As the song goes, "god will make a way, when there seems to be no way", and as jeremiah 29:11 "for the lord plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future". He has done so, and i thank him for his amazing grace, which all of us sinful humans don't deserve. And i trust in him to continue to do so, for his love and grace is unfailing.
